The Unexpected

I had been saying for years that God didn’t talk to me thru nature.  While I appreciated the beauty of mountains and seas, enjoyed the occasional animal encounters and sometimes noticed flowers and such, these weren’t the ways God usually stirred my heart.  Until one morning, a few years ago, after telling a group of ladies the night before, that God doesn’t speak to me thru nature – God with his sense of humor, sent me a hummingbird.  I don’t just mean I saw a hummingbird – I mean on a gray dreary  Wednesday morning, as I sat on the bench on my covered porch, a silly little hummingbird decided to fly straight into the porch, stop directly in front of me, and just hover, maybe a foot in front of me.  I could have reached out and touched it.  And then it lingered.  No flitting in and flitting out, but rather a full stop directly in front of me, probably for more than a minute.

I had just been railing against God.  Really I was trying to pray, but it wasn’t coming out that way.  I was mad that life wasn’t turning out the way we planned.  After losing my husband’s mother very unexpectedly the previous year, to spending months trying to sell a former rental after repairing it twice, to buying two  new cars within 2 months of each other because 2 older vehicles died, watching my daughter choose to walk away from college, having my son total one of the new cars, and coming up on 3 months of unemployment for my husband, after 19 years of committed service,  and none of that anywhere near resolution – my father-in-law was going in for a relatively simple heart procedure – but everything in me screamed God can I trust you?  And He answered with a HUMMINGBIRD.

Message Received

My immediate reaction – I laughed.  My heart bubbled up and I felt joy and then peace.  First, I laughed because clearly God has a sense of humor, sending me a bird 12 hours after announcing, not for the first time, that God doesn’t speak to me through nature.  Peace, because somewhere in my heart, I understood, Dad was going to be OK.  Mom’s favorite bird was a hummingbird, she painted them, she planted flowers for them, she hung feeders for them, and that was absolutely the right sign that day.  Because I’m curious, I did some research.  Hummingbirds are first and foremost a symbol of joy.   God was ushering in my joy – and then I went on to read that hummingbirds are different than any other bird – they can fly into the wind, or with the wind, they can go left/right/up/down/full speed/ full stop and of course they can hover in place.  And I felt the voice of God telling me to just keep up.  He wasn’t done.  I didn’t need to know where we were going, I just need to keep up.  Move in whichever direction he moves or just stand still.  He’s got this and He’s got me. 

Are you listening?

It’s been 4 years since that Wednesday morning on the porch, and I’m still just trying to keep up.  What I know now, is that all the challenges of that season, were just the precursors to the next season, and then the next season.  The truth is each year has held challenges and celebrations.  Each year has held disappointment and hope.  Each year has held unknown next steps. 

How is God speaking to you in this season?  Where are you missing Him because you aren’t expecting Him there?  He can be found in the beach and the mountains, in the hummingbird and the moose, but also in the isolation of quarantine, in the loneliness of social distancing, in the messy kitchen or the dusty living room.  He is waiting to talk with you, are you listening?

UP UP & AWAY

On the last day of our vacation in Florida, we went parasailing.  Well 4 of the 5 of us did.  My oldest son, has always struggled with a fear of heights, and generally is a risk adverse personality, but he still went on the boat with us and participated as the camera-man and stuff holder.  My husband and I each paired up with the younger 2 kids who have yet to meet an adventure they don’t want to take on.  I am afraid of heights, but I am also a close your eyes and jump kind of person, so while I tend to avoid anything that makes me look down for too long, or really makes me climb up to the heights, if you can get me up, I will take the plunge.  I was very nervous, nervous about the take off and landing (both of which happen from the front of the boat), but I was also nervous about the amount of time we would be in the air, 400 ft in the air to be precise.

And suddenly it was our turn.  My daughter and I climbed up to the front of the boat, already having been strapped into our harness, the guides snapped us into the sail and sat us down on the deck. As they released the sail, we felt the tug on us, leaned back into it a bit, and lifted off.  I had expected a bit of a jolt, a jerk into the air, but instead it was just this smooth lifting us off the boat.  The tow line was let out and smoothly and without much time passing, we sailed up and up, higher and higher, away from the boat.

Perspective Change

Perspective is a funny thing.  Usually when we are in the middle of something our view feels like the only view, our experience the only way to experience, our emotions the only right emotions.  But as we all know, once we look at something from a different angle, things don’t always look so black and white. 

With the benefit of hindsight, we can look back on a million moments in our lives and see so many other things.  The end of the world was only a blip on the radar of our story,  that failure that we thought would mar us forever, has long since been forgotten, that hurt that we thought would never go away, healed with minimal scarring.  Hindsight changes perspective.

Experiences change our perspectives too.  The way we see and experience something, looks very different if we have never experienced it.  However, as soon as we see something through the lens of “been there done that,” things change.  Before having kids I viewed the mother/child interactions much differently than I do now, after having four of my own.  My grace is much greater, my empathy much wider, my perspective much fuller.

Then, there is the physical change of perspective.  A literal change of our environment and view.  As a I floated about the Gulf, above the birds, everything is different.  For starters, other than the laughter and wonder from me and my daughter, it was quiet…. the noise of the world washed away.  But also from up here, just 400 feet above it all, the 2020 world had washed away.  No masks, no distancing, no politics, no media…  from the ground it can sometimes feel like nothing is right in the world anymore, but from up above… The ocean still swells and crashes to the shore, the birds still dive for fish, the dolphins still swim and frolic, the sun is still in the sky where it belongs.   

SEEKING HIM

Sometimes without even realizing it, we actually need a physically different perspective.  In my years working for a church, I often discovered that getting outside the walls of our building, talking to people outside the community of staff and church attenders, looking at challenges outside of the status quo, was not only desperately needed, but not sought out enough.  Taking a hard look at not only what and how we are doing something, but why we were doing it.  Physically distancing ourselves allows us to examine our hearts, motives, and desires.  Do we need to extend more grace, have more compassion, be more open or stand firm?  Have we developed tunnel vision or are we doing things out of habit? Have we chosen the right battles to fight, the right hills to die on?  It’s easy to lose perspective, to allow the walls to close in around us, how are you doing with this?  This week, will you find a moment to physically step outside of your current perspective.  Seek higher ground, and look around.  Where do you need to reexamine your thoughts, your feelings, your plans?  Where do you need to step back and ask God for direction?  Where do you need to take up the sword or lay it down?  Or maybe you just need to step out of the noise, splash in the water a bit, and laugh.

Mountain Beaches

In our Stories from the Beach series, the beach is a state of mind.  For me, it is most often an actual beach, for my dear friend Jackie, the mountains are her happy place.  Her place to rest, recharge, see Jesus in her surroundings, find rest for her soul.  2020 has brought it’s share of losses for all of us, Jackie included, and she was excited to finally get away for an extended camping trip.  Here is her story.

Asking Big Expecting Bigger

I just read a devotion by Nicole Crank in “Hi God (its me again)” about how we should pray for what we want and what we need…Calling out Hebrews 4:16 “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” and Ephesians 3:29 “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Don’t just ask, ask big, because we have a big God. So as we headed out for vacation that’s what I did. I prayed for the best campsite, lots of glorious wildlife (at a safe distance of course), the best fly fishing my husband has ever had and lots of rest and restoration. I couldn’t wait to see how it turned out. On the way we had to first go to my dearest friend and second Mom’s ranch in the Colorado mountains for her memorial.

In a Moment

The unthinkable happened the day before the memorial.  As we were setting up, the forest started on fire heading straight for her place. We had to evacuate. As we drove off the property I wanted to throw up, feeling like I would never see it in its glory again. There is only one way out so we had to drive past the fire. I called out to our God for protection and I cried. There wasn’t going to be a big memorial. It wasn’t supposed to be like this!

It wasn’t supposed to be like this…

2020 has been one crazy year. I am certain I am not the only one this year who has felt that way. My heart was broken and still is as I write this. And yet God was there. My family and friends are safe and my friends’ place was spared.  God provided in a big way as I begged him for protection. All the glory to Him.

Praying Big

No it wasn’t supposed to be like this, not for you and not for me. So what are we supposed to do with that? It is ok to grieve and be disappointed. Call out to God, he can handle it. Reach out to your peeps and let them know you’re hurting or need prayer. Check on them too. 1 Thes 5:11 says “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” I don’t know about you but somehow I feel better when I remember others are also hurting and I can encourage them too. No it wasn’t supposed to be like this, but our powerful God is still in charge.

The Story Continues

Jackie sent me her story early last week.  In the seven days since then, the fires in Colorado have continued to rage along with dozens of devastating fires throughout the western states.  The ranch Jackie loves is still at risk, that threat became more real again last night as the winds shifted.  And still we pray. And we pray big.  Jesus come… Calm the storms, protect the lives, heal the land.

Need Prayer?  We are always happy to pray for you.  You may email us at admin@findingzarephath.com or message us through fb or instagram.

In Need of Rest

I love to travel.  Warm watery destinations are a favorite relaxation trip for me.  The self-reflection time, the soothing of the water, the calming warmth or the adventurous waves each speak to me in different ways.  I grew up in water… pools, lakes, oceans, they call to something deep inside me, the voice of the younger me that hasn’t always been allowed a voice.

Two years ago, God gave me a gift.  He opened the door for a 6-day trip to the beach with a couple of my friends.  I was in need of rest.  It had been a season of recovering from the trauma of my husband’s heart attack, a season of organizational change in the ministry I was working in, and a season of God taking me down memory lane, reminding me of who I was in my younger years.  I wanted to go alone, run away to the seashore, but my husband asked me to take a friend.  I picked two of my most introverted friends.  I was hungry for rest, and I wanted people who would not require much of me.  One of my friends called it, when she said, you just invited us so you don’t have to eat out alone.  False…  I love their company, they were a great choice… and True… as an extravert wanting to be alone every now and then is fine, but eating out alone is hard. And so, the three of us embarked on our adventure..

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“Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper Light in the darkness My God, that is who You are
You are Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper Light in the darkness My God, that is who You are.”

Finding Zarephath’s administrative costs are kept as low as possible and are already fully funded by a committed group of of people who believe in the the mission and vision of our ministry.  All additional donations and sales are therefor 100% committed to the programs and services that Finding Zarephath offers to women in ministry.

Uncertainty and Waiting

It’s been a weird season.  I know I’m not alone in that.  The whole world feels off its axis.  A virus that shut down most of the world, the end of large gatherings, and extreme travel restrictions.  The daily evaluation of whether our next outing is essential, wise, or safe.  I don’t live in fear, but I live in consideration.   There are people who have had to go out, for work or for services, and I don’t want to be dismissive of their need for distance.  I have a beloved circle of friends who represent some part of the at-risk population, whether it be their age, their medical circumstance, or the ages & medical needs of the people they care for.  I have learned some things about myself.  I can be cooped up with my family and not go crazy.  I can enjoy the sudden slowdown of our crazy schedules and just be present.  There are things that fill the “have to” column of my life that aren’t really necessary.  I also was starkly reminded that I do not like uncertainty and I don’t like to wait.

Waiting and uncertainty… that is the theme of this season and it is my least favorite.  Even in crisis or when something goes wrong a plan to make it better can be put into action.  And, of course, there is all the fun planning; the events, the vacations, the sports leagues, etc..  Here at Finding Zarephath we had all sorts of plans for this fall… the launching of retreats, one day events, fundraisers and more.  Everything is waiting, in a loop, and the elevator hold music is getting old….

Abraham and Sarah

But in this season, God has taken me back to a reading thru the bible plan.  And like most people, I’ve started many and finished few, so the Genesis chapters get read and re-read time again.  It’s easy to brush over them, the creation story, the flood, Abraham and Sarah, Moses.  We’ve read the stories, some of us have taught them, the meaning, the implication, the faithfulness of God, and we read them in this way where God makes a promise and then He delivers.  This time though, this time for me is different… I’ll tell you something… there is a lot of waiting.

Today, I’ve been reflecting on Abraham and Sarah.  God clearly had a plan for Abraham’s life, He made covenants and promises to them for their future, and yet there was a lot of waiting.  It’s easy to miss the time lapse.  If you read it casually, God makes a promise and they lose faith and try it their own way, God makes a promise again, they laugh, but ultimately God proves He is faithful and they have Isaac.  What is easy to overlook, or dismiss because we know the ending, is the waiting.  60-ish years from the first mention of descendants.  30 years from the covenant.  13 years after Ishmael.  That’s a lot of waiting.  I would not have made a very good Sarah.  I will also never judge her again for trying to fulfill the promise her own way or for laughing when God repeated it.  Don’t I do the same?  Don’t we do the same?

His Way

So, I will take the lessons of Sarah to heart.  My timing is not always God’s timing, my ideas and ways are not always God’s ideas and ways.  I will try to submit my plans, my timing, my goals to Him and I will trust His promises.  I may blow it along the way… correction, I will blow it along the way.  I will get the timing wrong sometimes, I will try my own way, and forget that His way is better, but I will try to do better.  I will trust Him, lean into Him, and walk with Him.  For His ways and thoughts are different, but they are better.