Author: FZadmin

The Perfect Gift

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More than Mom

This week the world focuses on celebrating mom’s and yet we know that there is more to this than biology.  This year we would like to take the moment to celebrate our mom’s (of course) but also all the women who have made us who we are. We are better because of you.

Thank You!

To the women who have nurtured us, loved us, hugged us, dried our tears.  To the women who have prayed with us, fed us, scolded us, and praised us.  To the women have pushed and comforted, listened and spoke.  To the Women who have fought for us and with us!

The Best Gift

And because we value and cherish you, the women who invest in everyone else, we would like to invest in you.

For the month of May, Finding Zarephath will be extending our Pre-order pricing of our brand new Journey Box.

Give the gift that speaks to the heart, that nourishes the soul, and refills the cup that is always pouring out.

 

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Rest, Recharge, Reclaim, Resurrect

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Journey Box

A Special Gift

Finding Zarephath recognizes the challenges of ministry, and the fact that women in ministry rarely get to fully experience their ministries’ conferences, retreats and seminars.  This is your chance to dive into some time with Jesus where nothing is expected of you, no check-in table, no hosting and problem solving… just time for you.  Time for you to spend with Jesus, time to be pampered by gifts specifically chosen to uplift and encourage, free time to quiet your world and relax.  Each box is personally designed, prayed over and prepared for you by name based on your registrations form (which will be sent to you upon purchase).

 

Finding Zarephath is excited to announce our new Journey Box.  These boxes will include everything you need for a deep, meaningful, retreat with Jesus experience. Each box contains worship set playlists, audio and written sessions, guided and reflective journal time, free time, and gifts for you to unwrap as you journey through the box.  The value of the gifts alone exceeds the list price of the box.

A Journey of Truth

The Crowned Box, the first in our series, will walk you through a deep look at what God thinks, feels, and says about you.  We will take a hard look at all the things in our lives that we allow to define us and distract us from that truth.  Put together by a  team of women who have served in all areas of ministry, this is the box we all wish we had had.  Something to remind us that today’s challenges are not all encompassing or eternally defining.  The box will take you on an exciting journey, through the joy of God’s promises, the hard work of reclaiming that which was lost, and moving forward.  

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Commanded Rest

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A Command and An Invitation

Forgotten rest

Rest….. for most of us it is a challenge. Coming out of Easter and recognizing the need for rest by so many women serving in their local churches and ministries, we’ve spent the last couple weeks talking about different parts of rest and restoration.  My devotions circle, the girls and I that share a daily devotional time, have been doing a 7 day study on rest, our blog posts have gotten more engagement on the topic of rest than anything else we have shared over the last year… that should tell us something.  Rest is hard.  It shouldn’t be, it was actually designed to be the opposite of that, but we live in a noisy world, in a demanding world, and the challenges of work, family, entertainment, and yes, even church, don’t often remind us of the value of rest.

“Much like our body needs actual rest to repair, so do we as people. When we push too hard or overlook our needs, we can start to malfunction and burnout. Being self-aware of what we need can be such an overlooked essential to thriving in life. I have seen it too many times that people simply don’t know how to give themselves permission to have needs or ask for help, and they end up hurting themselves and other people because of it.” -7 Types of Sabbath for our Modern Culture, Claire Harris, JH Israel 

I have pushed too hard, I have forgotten to rest… often.  As we age, our bodies are quicker to highlight the overuse and under-rested, but in my younger days, 4-5 hours of sleep was the norm, having to be among the first in and the last out in every ministry event, checking my phone messages/emails constantly, even going on vacation but making sure everyone knew they could and should call.  I spent many years not being fully present in my “away time” because I was determined to stay connected.  And it didn’t feel wrong, it felt like serving, it felt like willing sacrifice, at times it even felt like obedience, except it wasn’t.

 

 

hard truth

“When we don’t acknowledge our needs, we actually deny Christ His rightful place in our lives. It’s like if you were drowning and you told God that you didn’t need Him, that you can do it yourself. The sad truth is, that all that is, is pride disguised behind self-sufficiency.” -7 Types of Sabbath for our Modern Culture, Claire Harris, JH Israel.

Oof… that is hard to hear.  But if I shut down the defensive reaction of  “yeah, but…” I recognize the truth.  God chose us to do whatever it is He has called us to do.  He wants our service.  He has uniquely gifted us for His purposes, but He doesn’t need us.  He is God.  He chooses to use us, but He also tells us to rest.  Arrogance and pride provoke us to believe we can’t step away, the ministry can’t function without us.  Brokenness and Identity insecurity, motivate us to be needed, to be irreplaceable, to stay on top of.  That feels harsh, it’s not meant to be.  The demands of ministry feed so many good things in us, serve so many good purposes of God, challenge us to grow in our gifting, and understanding of Jesus, our faith, and our reliance on Him.  But, if not kept in balance, those same demands can easily also feed our insecurities, our need for validation, our reliance on people.

He designed our bodies to rest.  He designed our spirit to rest too.  How are you doing with that?  Has it been too long since you took a day, a weekend, or a week to yourself?  Has it been too long since you just sat with Jesus without an agenda?  Has it been too long since you powered off your electronics, turned off your phone, and made friends with the silence?

A Special invitation

Today, I’d like to invite you to do so.  It may be as simple as a day or even just a few hours of unplugging, it may be a weekend off or some set aside time with family or with God.  And it may be more. 

Finding Zarephath is releasing our first Journey Box offering at the end of this month, this box is filled with stories of other women in ministry, experiences, hard lessons learned and the life and joy that Jesus spoke over our hardest times.  It is filled with guided journal exercises, reading and audio sessions, incredible worship sets, and gifts that will speak directly to your heart as you journey with Jesus. 

The value of the gifts alone are more that the list price of the box, the value of the stories of real women just like you, shared specifically to minister to your heart are immeasurable, the time set aside to sit with Jesus and allow Him to speak, minister and heal is priceless.

The pre-order pricing of the boxes is heavily discounted, and available here today. 

Journey Box

We are a ministry that serves the women who serve their local churches.  We know this last year has been hard.  If you are in need of your own Journey Box, and simply cannot afford it, please reach out to us. We are want nothing to stand in the way of your ability to sit with and experience the amazing gifts Jesus has for you.

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A Special Rest

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9 So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. 10 For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. 11 So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall.

– Hebrews 4:9-11

A Special Rest

I have failed at rest more times than I can count.  I have often missed the need for rest and worn myself out striving and doing and being because the world simply couldn’t continue without me.  Even in the face of exhaustion, I have taken time off from work or ministry, only to go home and chase project after project.  Even vacations away from the to-do list at home came with their own to-do list, the must see, must do, the must experience.  A friend once challenged me with the charge that He tries to live a life he doesn’t need a vacation from, and I have pondered that quite a bit over the years.

 

If you read our blog or check out our posts, it doesn’t take much to conclude I love vacations, I love to travel.  Water and sun especially speak to my heart.  I also spent most of my childhood in Germany, and so travel to Europe invites not only great new adventures, but also trips down memory lane, a coming home if you will.  When my friend challenged me to live a life that doesn’t require a vacation, I initially took that as a direct assault on my love of travel and exploring, it took me a while to realize that was not what he was saying.

Vacations, in and of themselves, are not the problem.  God filled this world with so many opportunities to see His work, His beauty, His vastness.  From deserts to mountains to oceans; cities to villages to abandoned places; monuments built at the hands of people, and monuments spoken into existence by God – travel, experiences, adventures, or lazy afternoons have their place and value.  None of these, however, will provide the special rest God calls us to on their own.

But God is calling me to more, and He’s calling you too.  To intentionally step away from our usual patterns.  Whether that means actually physically relocating away from the distractions or choosing to curl up at home and ignore the to-do list, is between you and Him.  But in that space He wants more than a push of the pause button, He wants more than few minutes of quiet, He definitely wants more for us than a brain numbing distraction.  He’s inviting us into His presence.  To lean into Him and let his breath slow ours, to let His words wash over us, His peace surround us.   

I happen to do that best in water.  If He grants me a trip with an ocean or a lake – great.  If He opens the door to a pool or a hot-tub – that works too.  A rainy day in the comfort of my home is also a rare treat, and when the weather doesn’t cooperate or travel isn’t an option, a soak in the bathtub will do.  And in that space, everything else washes away.  I am reminded of His beauty, His care for me.  I regain perspective on my life.  My world, for just a moment, is a small glimmer in the greatness of God.  It is in those moments, sitting in the presence of my God who truly knows me and loves me anyway, that I find this special rest.  A healing rest.

That special rest He refers to in Hebrews, that can only be found in intentionally setting everything else aside and quieting our world and in the quietness, resting in the presence of God.  When I was younger, that kind of stillness was hard, I wanted to do and move and strive and achieve.  Now, the physical stillness is easier (maybe too easy some days), but I still tend to fill the silence with books (in hand or audio), music, movies, TV, games on my cellphone…. Anything that distracts and entertains me.

Where do you rest like that?  As you move throughout your day, your week, this season,  I’d like to challenge you to find your resting place and spend some time there.  Everything you are currently juggling will still be there when you return, but you will be different.  God is much more concerned with our heart than our circumstances, more concerned with our relationship than our accomplishments, more concerned with who you are than what you do… I promise.   Make a date, be intentional about it, and leave the to-do list at the door, He is waiting.

An Invitation For You

We’d love to invite you to your own guided retreat with Jesus with our new Journey in a Box offering:

 

 

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After Easter

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The Next Chapter

Well, it’s Tuesday, Easter is just a mere two days behind us, but if you are like me and the vast majority of people, the Easter celebration is quickly fading.  If you work for a church or serve in a significant capacity, weeks (if not months) of prep came to a beautiful climax on Sunday as you shared the joy of Easter with a hurting world.  And now, as you settle back into the routine of planning for next week and the week after, you are already wondering, “who is going be the first to say the ‘C’ word,” you know… Christmas.

The build-up in churches to the two biggest Christian holidays are not without reason.  Aside from worshiping and celebrating the incredible life and death of our Savior, those two days bring more visitors to churches across the nation than any other Sunday; and Pastors, Sunday school teachers, care teams, production teams and everyone else working in a church, know this is their best chance to share the life and hope of Jesus with those outside the church.

But before we put Easter behind us too quickly, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about “after Easter.”  

We shared a daily quote earlier last week that has been resonating with me.  “Jesus didn’t say ‘I am finished.’ he said ‘it is finished.’  He was just getting started.”

Christ’s death and resurrection are not the end of the story, merely the end of a chapter.  The truth is, everything He has taught us in the 2000+ years since His resurrection, everything I have learned from Him in my own life, everything I know about my purpose, my life, my gifting, are a result of the chapters He has written since the resurrection.  Isaiah tells us that He came “to bind the broken hearted and to set the captives free.”  He came to restore what was lost.  He came to heal the rift between us and God, and that my friends, is not a once a year celebration, but rather a daily gift.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always walk in the freedom that Jesus gave that day.  I don’t always remember to offer him my broken heart moments and lean into what He says about them.  I certainly don’t  always (or really ever) feel worthy of the sacrifice He made on the cross.  And yet he has made it clear we are His beloved, and we were worth it.

As we walk into the chapter after Easter, God reminds me of His truths.

I am a reflection of God.
I am a masterpiece.
I am a child of light and a child of the day.
I am enough
I am created for good..
I am known. 
I am chosen.
I am divinely appointed.
I have a calling
I have a purpose.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am the beloved.
I have great value.
I am a child of God.
I am delighted in.
I am Royalty. 
I have a glory.

Today I’d like to invite you to join me in staying in the moment, of sitting in His truth.  Jesus’ story, my story, and your story don’t end at the cross, they begin there.  On that day we were rescued, ransomed and restored.  We were given freedom, identity, and security.  Jesus wasn’t finished with us then and He isn’t finished with you now. 

“Crowned”

Are you interested in doing some serious identity work and spending time with Jesus?  He has so much He wants to say to you and we are excited to invite you to our first Journey in a Box offering: “Crowned- unboxing your identity.”

Easter People

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Easter people

Non Traditional Easter

Easter is coming.  It’s almost here.  Easter has always been an odd holiday for me.  As a believer, I of have celebrated the resurrection of Christ.  It is a sacrifice that I can barely comprehend.  It speaks to a love so deep and a hope so great, that I am humbled by the mere thought of it. 

But I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, we didn’t regularly celebrate Easter other than as a reason to have the family together for a meal.  Inevitably, my mother would plan some amazing spread and spend the day before cooking and prepping, and, more often than not, all sorts of family tensions surfaced.  Arguments over how to dress, where to sit, behavior at the table.  Unfortunately (and inevitably), some sort of argument exploded over dinner after a day of prepping and stress and heightened emotions.  As I grew older, Easter dinner with the family became more obligation than joy, and nobody talked about Jesus.

When I met Jesus in my teens, Easter became a strange split holiday.  Unlike Christmas, which was the one holiday my family regularly attended church for, this wasn’t a family church holiday.  I celebrated the greatest sacrifice ever made in the morning, and then went about family dinner obligations, almost as if leaving Jesus outside.  He wasn’t invited to dinner. 

Guest of Honor

Without any regular family Easter traditions, we tried some different ones out over the years… Easter egg hunts with the kids, Church attendance followed by Brunch (moving to a restaurant to try to minimize tension & stress), some Easter decorating, and surprise Easter Baskets.  Yet without the benefit of history, tradition, and memories, these things felt silly, commercial, and honestly too much work early in the morning before church.  As our involvement in church grew, first as volunteers, then as staff and leadership, Easter Sunday became more about the experience of the unchurched visitor who would come on this holiday.  Somewhere along the line, Easter had become a day about taking care of everyone else.  Managing the last-minute challenges of staff and volunteers at church, greeting & assisting visitors, cleaning up after services, and then navigating another family Easter dinner.  

Last year, 2020, was my first year in almost 30 years that I didn’t have leadership responsibilities in a church.  Finally, a chance to maybe do something different.  Well, 2020 was different alright, but not in the way I had expected.   As the first round of COVID quarantine orders took form and all in person Church services were cancelled, our experience of Easter changed dramatically.  We did church online and then had Easter dinner with only our immediate family. It was a joyful day, a restful day.  I don’t remember what we ate, but I do know, that this time, Jesus was invited to dinner.

sing hallelujah

As Easter approaches this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about the lack of tradition with this holiday and our family, and maybe someday we will settle down in a rhythm that makes more space for that, but I learned something last year.  The single most important part about celebrating Easter, is remembering to invite the guest of honor.  The truth is that’s all He’s ever wanted from me.  For me to invite Him in, to invite Him to the conversation, to sit in relationship with Him. 

This morning as I prepared to write this post, I ran across this quote by Pope John Paul II,

“Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”

Today, tomorrow, Easter Sunday, next week, the week after, next month…. We are the Easter People.  We are the people who believe in the power of resurrection, who are free because of it.  Who have been granted hope and life and joy in the face of our biggest challenges, because we already know how the story ends. 

Many of you will serve in churches this weekend.  Many of you will give yourself away to support your ministry, welcome new people, and uphold your traditions.  Hurting and broken people will step outside of their regular routines to seek Easter People.  Your heart, your willingness to be present, your willingness to set self aside will be used to sing hallelujah over a hurting world.  Thank you for that, thank you for being willing to stand in the gap. 

Somewhere in the busyness of the day, will you take a moment to remember that Jesus has something for you too?  Will you sit in His presence, acknowledge His sacrifice, and remember to invite Him to dinner? 

Crowned

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Identity Crisis

I’ve been walking with Jesus for a long time.  In my years of following Him and engaging in ministry, the most common issue at the root of all sorts of problems is an identity crisis.  In a world that is constantly telling us who we are and maybe even more often who we aren’t, the truth, that Jesus spoke, the identity that God bestowed is so easily lost.

It happens within the church just as easily as outside of the church.  Our jobs, our service, our value to the organization define us.  Our failures, our shortcomings, our moments of missing the mark define us.  The perceptions of the people we do life, church, and ministry with define us.

 

And yet, God’s truth is always truth.  It doesn’t shift and change.  I am no less the daughter of the King on my bad days than my good.  I am no less beautiful and treasured and loved in my ugly moments.  And yet, it’s so easy to believe the lie.  The lie that attacks and accuses me.  The lie that causes me to set aside my crown and hang my head in shame.

In years of ministry, all too often, I have allowed my crown to be set aside, discarded and forgotten.  By the time I finally hear God telling me to raise my head and remember whose I am, it is tarnished, broken and discarded.  The healing work of picking it up, restoring it to its original glory, and replacing it on my head where it belongs, is a hard fought battle thru shame, fear, and hurt.

But I know it’s not supposed to be that way.  God has so many beautiful things to say about me.  There are the truths He proclaimed even as He created me, the truths He shared over and over again in the Word about His love for me, and even in the moments of my failure, there are the things that I see and believe, and His perspective.

At the end of the day, that is the bottom line.  Learning to take our own perspective, lay it at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to show us His.  He has so many beautiful things to say about you too.  If we would just shut out the noise of the world long enough to hear Him, there is much He wants to say us.  Today I challenge you to take the time to sit with Him.  To find your tarnished, crooked, discarded or broken crown and take it to Him.  Allow Him to speak words of truth, encouragement, joy and healing as He reminds you of who you are, have always been, and are called to be.

 

Want to take a longer journey in this area of Identity?  Finding Zarephath is so excited to announce the upcoming release of our Journey Box – “Crowned-unboxing your identity.”  The first in our line of Journey Boxes designed to take your on your own journey with Jesus in a retreat like environment on your own schedule.  Check it our HERE or at  https://findingzarephath.com/journey-boxes for more information and special pre-order pricing.

Invitations

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Come to the Table….

Those are the beginning lyrics of a beautiful song by Sidewalk Prophets.  The song has been running through my head the last couple days. I think it was playing on the radio at one point and just caught my soul’s attention.  It’s a beautiful invitation.

“He said come to the table
Come join the sinners who have been redeemed
Take your place beside the Savior
Sit down and be set free”

As the lyrics and the gentle invitation have echoed around my mind these last few days, I’ve been thinking about this Blog post.  The month leading up to Easter has been challenging me this year.  I am not a biblical scholar, I haven’t spent countless hours breaking down the details and timelines and maps of Jesus’ ministry.  But this year I’ve been wondering, what did Jesus’ last month look like?  Not just His last week, there are a million search results to that question, but He knew the end was near, He knew His time with these people whom He loved was limited, what did He spend His last month doing?  And then today, I found a chart on the timeline of Jesus’ ministry according to the book of Luke.  And while it’s not broken up into exact dates, as we all know that data has been difficult to pin down, the last section before Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem, points to the chapters of Luke 14-19.  So, doing the next logical thing, I go to my Bible app to pull up Luke 14, when I discover something that the world would tell me is a simple coincidence, but my faith knows is how God speaks.  I open my Bible App, which happens to be open today’s reading from my current devotional, want to guess what it is?  Luke 14:16-24, know what story that is?  The Parable of the Great Feast.

And my spirit laughs… out loud.  God really is the amazing director, conductor, and choreographer of the story of my life (and yours).  This week he spun together separate experiences, to draw me to one place, to the reminder that He sits and waits.  Not just for the feast someday.  As a follower of Jesus, I have already accepted the invitation to the banquet that awaits me when my time on this earth comes to an end, but He sits and waits today.  Everyday is a new invitation to sit down at the table with Him.  My mess, my imperfection, my mistakes are welcome there.  And He encourages me to bring a friend, or two or twenty.  So today, I invite you to come to the table with me.  To sit down beside the Savior, and rest in His presence, and be set free.

“To the thief and to the doubter, To the hero and the coward, To the prisoner and the soldier, To the young and to the older, All who hunger all who thirst, All the last and all the first, All the paupers and the princes, All who fail you’ve been forgiven, All who dream and all who suffer, All who loved and lost another, All the chained and all the free, All who follow all who lead.  Anyone who’s been let down, All the lost you have been found, All who have been labeled right or wrong, To everyone who hears this song” – “Come to the Table,” Sidewalk Prophets

“There is still room for more” – Luke 14:23

Listen
Read

 

Heart Check 3

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  Living Water

As we continue to move through the month of February, it seems like a good idea to shift from loving others to loving ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but I haven’t spent nearly enough of time in my life searching my own heart and assessing my own health.  Life happens, busyness happens, demands happen.  Even after the major shifts in our world in 2020, if we simply live reactively instead of proactively, our own care will fall by the wayside.

Ever felt lonely in a crowd, isolated but not quieted, sad in the midst of laughter. How about fearing failure even while being praised, feeling like you aren’t wanted even while being searched out?   Of course you have.  We all have.  We spend much of our lives searching for and striving for others’ approval, but the cup that we fill with the voice of others, is a shallow one.

The truth is our heart is a deep well.  It is meant to hold the holy and the sacred.  It is meant to be filled with the perfect love of God.  The voices of approval from others, can only satisfy it for a moment, we can spend our whole life trying to fill it with other peoples’ opinions, words, wants and needs, but it won’t even make a dent, it’s a short rain in the drought, feels good in the moment, but it will not nourish barren ground. 

The only one who has ever been able to fill it, waits for us to ask.  He waits as we chase after all the temporary fills, the little splashes of approval, the cups full of praise, maybe even the occasional bucket of love and happiness.  It’s a cheap imitation of the fountain He has for us.  And He waits.  He waits for us to stop. Stop chasing and striving.  Stop planning and manipulating.  Stop trying to do it ourselves and come to Him.

So, today I challenge you, as I do myself.  Will you set aside the time to silence the noise, quiet the distractions, and fix your heart and mind on Him?  He has truths He wants to speak in you.  He has healing He wants to pour over you.  He has joy and hope and life to breathe in you.  He has life giving water to fill the deepest place in your heart.  

Heart Check 2

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Perspectives – Ours, Theirs, Gods’

As we weave our way through the month of February and specifically this week as we head towards Valentine’s day, I wanted to take a moment and do a heart check on how we are doing in our most important relationships.  With this topic in mind, I’ve asked my friend Craig to share some of his wisdom.  Craig is a pastor, counselor, and student of personalities and behaviors.  He has made me question my thoughts and assumptions on way too many occasions, and in one of my hardest seasons was the constant in pushing me to allow God’s voice to be the loudest voice.  I hope you embrace his simple breakdown of what it means to understand the different personalities of those we love, but also how we can apply that to knowing our Jesus better, and in doing so, step closer to the life we are looking for.

Communication & Perspective

In my experience doing couples counseling, the two main problems I see are communication and perspective. The communication piece is obvious. No couple communicates perfectly and those problems can spiral. Most couples know that they are not communicating as well as they could, but they take little time to go deeper on the why, other than, ‘it is my partner’s fault’.

This is where perspective comes in. Perspective is the overlooked root of problems for couples, of problems at work, of stress and frustration, and of spiritual problems. If we do not understand ourselves and do not understand how others look at the world and do not understand how God looks at things, then our lives will be filled with frustration, stress, burn out, and perpetual conflict.

Understanding Ourselves & Each Other

In couples counseling, I always start them with concepts from the Myers-Briggs. I have found that a few questions and discussion is much more accurate than the MBTI itself and allows the individuals to start to understand their perspective and communication styles as well as how differently the rest of the world might think than them.

I start with, “Where do you get your energy from?” If, after a long week, a person recovers by being by alone, how much does that explain about what happens when they are around too many people in a week or why they get so upset about being dragged to another social engagement? Also, how important and refreshing their private relationship with God can be in a world that has mostly extroverts, many of whom might perceive that introvert as ‘stand-offish’. If, after a long week, a person recovers by being around people, how does that inform their fears of loneliness and isolation? Maybe they feel trapped when their partner will not go out with them. Perhaps they need others around to do their best work, to feel their best, to connect with God.

As they learn about the other person, the couple starts to realize that the communication problems were not just the fault of an unfeeling, uncaring partner. Maybe that other person just thinks differently, fears differently, is stronger and weaker than I am in different areas of their life. The new perspective starts to bring life, trust, and hope back to the relationship. The person becomes more aware of how to care for themselves and how to strengthen old ways to connect to God and be challenged in new ways.

As we continue through the Myers-Briggs concepts, that insight deepens. Intuitives like hypothetical questions, abstract concepts, and always want to know the ‘why’ behind things. They can be challenged in relationships by people that do not give enough information and challenged spiritually by being pushed to figure EVERYTHING out. Sensors like their information more concrete, action-oriented, and based upon what is proven to work. Intuitives annoy them when they meander and do not find the point fast enough or when they explore hypotheticals that are not based in reality. The realization of how both types take in information and how differently other people take in information helps them to be more accepting with each other, more focused in how they problem-solve, and more able to love the other person through their words.

The third spectrum of the Myers-Briggs is about how one prioritizes values. Thinkers start to realize that they can get too caught in the rules and often their rules are different than the rules everyone else sees. Feelers start to realize that they may toss out the rules too quickly for a good sob story and that they have their own interpretations of the rules that they believe everyone should share. Both sides relate their perspective to the rules they put on their partner and the rules they believe God is putting on them.

The last spectrum is about how one organizes their life and decisions. It is also the easiest one to determine. People with messy desks are almost always Perceivers and the mess coincides with the vast number of back-up plans and variables that helps them to be more spontaneous. Judgers usually have neat and orderly workspaces. They also tend to make decisions quickly, though they can get too attached to their plans and dislike when more variables come in. This is often the one where people realize that the Myers-Briggs helps define preferences, not principles. Just because one prefers more structure and the other prefers more spontaneity, does not mean that they can demand it, of their partner or of God.

Inviting God’s Perspective

The progression for couples counseling often starts with talking about communication and then turns to perspective. This helps people to see the problems, but then see their contributions to the problems. But for sanctification and growth, the progression is reversed. We start by seeking God’s perspective, His perspective on those around us, on our worlds, and on our worth and value. When we seek God’s perspective that leads us to communication with Him. We want to know more about His heart for us, His plans for us, how He wants us to thrive in environments and relationships that do not always match our preferences and comfort zones.

But when we walk into these things, into this communication, it starts to mend us as people. It starts to mend our ability to love and trust our relationship partners. It begins the process of mending our view of ourselves as broken and fallible followers of God and changes it to uniquely designed and uniquely loved children. If we can focus on the perspectives of God and others and learn how to communicate better with those around us, I think that we will find that burnout moves further away, stress decreases, frustration dissipates, and our relationships with God and people start to blossom, in ways we never thought possible.

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Craig Constantinos is the lead pastor of Trinitarian Church, an online community focused on discipleship, mentoring, spiritual growth and development.  Craig’s education and experience in ministry, counseling, and coaching have come together with passion to supplement and hopefully enhance our walk with the Lord. Trinitarian is a group of Christians from different backgrounds who—through the example and teachings of Christ—commit to help each other identify blind spots, break dysfunctional patterns, and create a lifestyle of surrender to ​the triune God. 
For more information, please visit www.trinitarianchurch.com