It was Inevitable…
Deep down inside we all knew this wouldn’t magically end in 30 days or 45 days or even 60 days.
Here in Colorado we are seeing the transition from the Stay at Home Order to Safer at Home policies, allowing for the beginning of some service industry re-openings, some return to work plans, and the hope of the reopening on a larger scale in the next few weeks. However, even with the promise of an end to this first stage, the other losses trickle in.
Today, I opened my email to a list of places with travel restrictions. I opened another email that confirmed that in addition to the cancellation of the remaining school year and with it all spring sports, the local summer youth leagues have also been cancelled. I’ve already heard of churches making plans to not have services well into June, possibly beyond… and the sadness came.
I felt the tears welling up as I read the list of destinations we can’t travel too. A few tears fell as it was confirmed that there would be no summer baseball. I miss my friends, the ones that, no matter how busy life gets, I know I will see in Church on Sunday. And in the grand scheme of things, amidst job losses, and closed businesses, this is all relatively minor, but somehow right now, it’s heavy.
My God Who Knows
But my God is still on the throne and He knows the desires of my heart. He cares about the big and small things in my life. He cares about my employment and my small business. He also knows how much I love to travel, that every summer, as the sun emerges, dreams of beaches call to me. He knows that I love the beautiful mountains I live in, but also how I long for sand and water. He also knows how much I love watching my kids play sports. He knows that in the busyness of having two four-sport athletes, while I enjoy short respites, I would love to sit on the bleachers and cheer for them, yell about a call or too, and feel the rush of a narrow victory or even the pride of a well fought defeat. He knows. And He cares. Even about the little things.
So today, I do it again. I take all my cares and fears, and hope and dreams and lay them at His feet. My faith is not based on circumstance. My knowledge of His faithfulness comes from a lifetime of experience and is not shaken by a momentary change of plans. I will grieve the things I thought I would do this summer, but I celebrate that my God knows me intimately and there is nothing that I will ever surrender at His feet that He will not make something beautiful of. I will cry out my sadness and praise His name, no matter what.
So Will I
And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I
Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind
– Hillsong