Unexpected

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Christmas is Coming

10 days to go.  How are you feeling?.  Excited, filled with anticipations,  happy? Or stressed, overwhelmed, and tired?

We’ve talked a lot this year about the challenges we all face, the changes we have had to make, the loss of the the way things were, or the way we wanted them to be.

Now, as we walk (or run) those last 10 days towards Christmas, it seems like a good moment to reflect and ask God what He is doing this year.

 

Unexpected

I’ve been doing a reading plan with a couple of friends called “Journey to the Manger.”  I have loved the reminder of the intentionality with which God sent His son to us.  This year, what has captured my attention in a new way, is the unexpected way God chose to act.  The unlikely family, the unlikely location, the unlikely timing.  God ushered in a new kingdom and a new King, in a completely unexpected way, and most people missed it.

 

Eyes to SEe

I don’t want to miss it.  I don’t want to miss Him.  In this crazy year, I don’t want to be so focused on what is not that I miss what God is doing.

So this week, my prayer for myself, and for you, is simply that God would give us His eyes to see. 

To see circumstances and people, change and loss, challenges and expectations through His eyes.  That in doing so, we find Him, we find Hope, and we don’t miss it.

So this week, my prayer for myself, and for you, is simply that God would give us His eyes to see.  To see circumstances and people, change and loss, challenges and expectations through His eyes.  That in doing so, we find Him, we find Hope, and we don’t miss it.

 

 

Whispering

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Christmas is Coming

With Christmas only two weeks away in a year of challenges and new normals, I just wanted to take a moment to silence the noise, and refocus on the celebration of this season.  We found this poem last year, and used it in our Christmas cards.  Last year my heart was focused on not losing sight of Jesus in the busyness of the season, this year that focus is a little different.  This year my focus is on the hope that Jesus offers.  It is because of who He is and who He says we are, that we can find hope in the midst of a hopeless world.

Our God is not quarantined.  Our God is not limited by social restrictions. Our God is not in fear of a virus, or disillusioned by politics, or uncertain of the future.  This Christmas, it is my prayer that we can find God in all the changes, all the loss, all the uncertainty.  When we find Him, we will also find all the things He came to bring.  We will find hope.  We will find joy.  We will find love. We will find peace.

The same God who spoke the world into existence, who healed the sick and raised the dead, who parted the sea and dried up the flood is still on the throne.  The same God who spared his son to come to earth, to live among us, to give His life so we could live, is still working in our lives and story.  This Christmas I want to remember and celebrate this amazing gift, this amazing love, and not allow the circumstances of the year to steal one ounce of its beauty, wonder and glory. 

 

If you look for me at Christmas,
You won’t need a special star.
I’m no longer just in Bethlehem,
I’m right there where you are.
You may not be aware of Me,
Amid the celebrations.
You’ll have to look beyond the stores,
And all the decorations.
But if you take a moment,
From your list of things to do,
And listen to your heart, you’ll find
I’m waiting there for you.
You’re the one I want to be with,
You’re the reason that I came.
And you’ll find Me in the stillness,
As I’m whispering your name.

He’s calling my name.  He’s calling yours too.  Will you take a moment and find Him in the stillness this season?

 

A Thrill of Hope

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“A Thrill of Hope, the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

 

If ever a song spoke to and of my soul, it would be this line, this year.  It has definitely been one of those years.  Even more it has been one of those years for everyone, everywhere, worldwide.  I can’t think of another time in my lifetime that the entire world felt the isolation, loneliness, exhaustion, of this year.  I know there have been others; world wars, plagues, disease, but in my lifetime this is a first.  A full year of battle.  Battling disease, battling income loss, battling isolation, battling technology.  We are indeed a weary world.  But as women in ministry, as believers, that is not where our story ends.  There is a thrill of hope, our God is still on the thrown, our God is still working, our God is still moving.

As we move in this season between Thanksgiving and Christmas, headed daily towards the celebration of Christ’s birth, I pray that we are filled with the thrill of hope.  May we find the beauty in the unexpected, the miracle in the every day, the wins in a season of losses. May we find freedom in the inability to plan, appreciation of the simple things, and quality connection in our smaller circles. 

I pray my heart, and yours, grows daily in its ability to rejoice, to see the new and glorious that God is giving us, to worship and sing and pray and celebrate with a hope for all that has been, all that is now, and all that is yet to be.

 

 

“He knows our need, To our weakness no stranger! Behold your King.”

Thanksgiving2020

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Thanksgiving

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.”                                                                             -Johannes A. Gaertner

Thanksgiving 2020

In just a few days we will be celebrating Thanksgiving.  2020 has been a year that has come with incredible change, loss, uncertainty, fear and tension, and yet it has also been a year of innovation, intentional connection, and creativity.

As you walk into this holiday, even if it looks completely different than every year before, it is our sincere prayer that you would see Jesus in your day.  That grace and peace and love would warm your home.  That hope and expectation and laughter would light your table. That joy would not only come to visit, but linger for a while.

Happy Thanksgiving

             Finding Zarephath

 

Unanswered Prayer

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Garth Brooks, “Unanswered Prayer”

 Thanksgiving Musical – Act I

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayer” and “I could’ve missed the pain, but I’d have missed the Dance” are both lyrics to old Garth Brooks songs.  All morning long, as I’ve pondered today’s blog post, these songs have been swirling around.  As I’ve contemplated what those unanswered prayers are, another lyric has drifted in.  From “The Father’s house,” by Bethel Music, “the story isn’t over, if the story isn’t good,” joins in the musical number in my head.  Do you have days that your internal dialog is musical?  Maybe it’s just me, but let me welcome you to the Thanksgiving musical in my head.

Garth Brooks, “The Dance”

 

 

Thinking Shift – Intermission

We’ve spent the last few weeks talking about living in an attitude of thanksgiving.  Choosing to see God in the big and little things in our lives.  Last week I shared the beginning my “month of thanksgiving” list, and that list continues.  It’s filled with similar things, the small moments, the simple reflections.  Every now and then a bigger one pops in, like when my dear friends’ son walks away from what could’ve been a very tragic car accident, but for the most part it’s been a focus on being grateful for the things I take for granted, choosing to adopt a spirit of joy and hope over negativity.

Then today, the thinking shifts a little.  There are things I have wanted, desired, needed, cried over and pleaded for that didn’t happen.  I have had seasons of being angry at God, or at least distrusting.  I’ve had seasons of crying out, when the desired answer didn’t come.  And with the benefit of hindsight, I can see how most of those moments are opportunities to thank God for unanswered prayers.  Not all of them; there are losses so profound in my story and others’ that I have had to reach the point of accepting that God knows more, sees more, understands more, and that He is infinitely good, even when it doesn’t look like it from my small world view.  If that is you today, I pray peace over you.

Bethel Music, “The Fathers House”

A New Story – Act II

If you are not in an immediate crisis moment, and you are simply reflecting on your reasons to be thankful, today I want to challenge you to revisit the “unanswered prayer” moments.  For clarity, “unanswered” isn’t necessarily the right word, it’s “no” or “not that way” or “not this time” or “not yet.”  So often we believe the way we need something resolved is the only way it can be resolved, and whatever version of unanswered prayer we experience feels wrong.

So, I take a closer look at my story.  I go back to the way I’ve allowed it to be written, and I ask God, if I need a rewrite?  Are there things that I’ve attributed as lost or unanswered that I need to take a closer look at? And then we journey together, through relationship pasts, through friendships that have come and gone,  thru ministries and seasons.  Jobs.  Houses.  Cars.   And every step of the way, He shows me the beauty He traded for ashes.  The beautiful mosaic created of broken pieces.  The near misses.  The roads that were better not traveled. 

Will you do the same?  Will you take a moment and lay the unanswered prayers you carry at His feet.  Will you lay down your expectations on what was supposed to be?  And in those still tender places, those not quite healed yet, not quite in the safe distance of hindsight, can you hear Him as He whispers, “the story isn’t over, if the story isn’t good.”

 

Heart Condition

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Accepting the Challenge

It’s November and appropriately we’ve been talking about giving thanks.  But we can all agree, it’s been a weird year.  A year of uncertainty, a year of change.  A year of political tensions, racial tensions, and religious tensions.  A year of illness and fear.  A year of scrambling to adjust our businesses, our social engagements, our worship to fit the new guidelines and mandates.  It would be really easy to get lost in the struggles of loneliness, uncertainty, and fear and move quickly past this season of Thanksgiving in the hopes of quickly ushering in a new year.  A new year with new hopes, new plans, new joys.  But God calls us to a life of peace in the now, an attitude of thanksgiving every day, to find joy in the moment, to be fully present, fully engaged.  Looking only to the future, seeking the change or the fix, will rob us of all our joy in the now.

Last week, we asked you to join us in giving thanks every day.  We challenged you and ourselves to open our hearts to let God work in us, heal us, and grow us, through learning to be just as grateful in the little things as the big things.  I committed to joining this challenge, and so with the help of a dear friend, we’ve been posting our daily thanks in a shared message.  We’re only 10 days in (truthfully only 7 because I started right after last week’s blog post), but I wanted to share a little of what’s happening to me…

I have some amazing big things to be thankful for.  If you read our blog regularly you know some of the big stories, but this month, I’ve really been focused on the everyday.

 

 

 

Making the List

  1. Election Day/The country I get to live in
  2. My family, kids who more often than not, bring me great joy
  3. The previous 17 years at a ministry that I love.  Even in the hard times, they were the most amazing years of ministry & growth, more than I ever thought I would have.
  4. That my future & hope belongs to God and not this election.
  5. Evenings with no kids at home
  6. Nights I don’t have to cook.
  7. Water – in all it’s forms but today it’s an outdoor hot tub at the gym
  8. Amazing women friends
  9. Excitement and vision new FZ plans
  10.  Afternoon naps
  11.  Game nights with friends
  12.  New Blinds and a hubby who hangs them
  13.  Football games in the sunshine in November
  14.  Chinese Food
  15.  Dad’s negative Covid Test
  16.  Family Game Nights
  17.  German Food
  18.  Getting to visit really big cuddly horses –  made me feel like a kid again
  19.  An unexpected phone call with a friend
  20.  Change of plans that allowed me to go to my son’s football game.
  21.  An impromptu dinner out with the whole family.

Inviting Change

That’s it.  It’s not super spiritual or deep.  It’s not an attempt to explain why I’m grateful for each thing.  There are no rules about what qualifies of being worthy of this list.  It’s just simply a recap of the day and the things that I appreciated.  Sometimes I flesh those our further in prayer and talk to God about why something brought me such joy, but sometimes it just is what it is.  And can I tell you something?  It’s changing me.  I’ve only been doing this a week, but I see it in the little things.  I’m less grumpy, less pessimistic, less easily frustrated.  Acknowledging a great interaction or experience with someone, smooths over the bumpy moments in another interaction (especially with family).  Focusing on the positive of a change in plans leaves me less cranky than simply having to accept a change of plans. 

All the daily frustrations still exist, but its an extra moment of joy, a grateful heart instead of a resentful one, a wave of peace over anxiety.  Somehow this list of things to be grateful for, taking the time to write it down, reflecting on it, and talking to God about it, is creating space for more love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, and gentleness.  Won’t you join us?  Really, what do you have to lose?  If a moment of thanksgiving creates more space for these gifts, isn’t it worth it?  Don’t the people in your life deserve that version of you, doesn’t the world, don’t you?

 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”     -Philippians 4:8

Practicing Gratefulness

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Reflecting

About two years ago I made an earnest effort to end my day writing down three things I was grateful for that day. As with all new habits I was not as consistent as I wanted to be. I kept at it though and now it is rare that I miss day.
Looking back the change it has made in my day to day was subtle. I noticed more things to be grateful for during the course of the day so that I could stop writing that I was thankful for dinner every day. I mean, I was, but I was missing the point I think. There are 100s of little things to be grateful for in a day. That the lights turn on, toothpaste, that the refrigerator works, the sleeping smiles of my family, hot coffee, blankets and that is all before breakfast! My prayers all tend to begin with thanks now; that is not how they began most of my life.
The biggest surprise is that I have become grateful for people who irritate me. I know that sounds backwards but I have become grateful for people who are nothing like me. Grateful for God’s amazing creation. He tells us “Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God.” Philippians 4:6.  I can attest that a posture of gratitude does drive that worry away. It is quite miraculous. I did not start on my quest with this verse in mind, yet I can personally testify to its absolute truth.
May you choose gratefulness today.   -Peni

 

 

 

 

A Month of Thanksgiving

It’s not unusual this time of year for us to talk about remembering the things we are grateful for.  And here at FZ we can’t think of any reason why we wouldn’t continue that practice, however, as always, we hope to challenge you to more.  More that just a moment of thanks, more that just a list of things, more than just an exercise for one month of the year.  As I read my friend Peni’s reflection, and remembered walking life with her early in that journey, I realize haven’t really leaned into this either.  I am incredibly grateful for the life God has given me, my family, and my friends.  I am grateful for the country I get to live in, the churches I get to serve, the ministry I get to be a part of.  I am grateful for our pets, and our vacations, and working cars.  I am grateful for our health and safety. I am grateful for so much, and yet, I know that gratefulness is not the attitude I live and operate out of daily.

Today, I take up the challenge to list 3 things daily that I am grateful for, to include those things in my conversations with God, and to let an attitude of thankfulness take root in my heart.  Will you join me?  There are no hard and fast rules, you can list one thing or fifty, you can discuss it over dinner or  journal or pray. You can invite your friends to do it with you,  or keep it private between you and God.  But I believe, if I commit to it, and allow God access to my heart and my attitudes He can use this to change me, to heal me, to bring me joy.  Ultimately it’s another step in chasing after the life He has for us, and I am always up for pursuing more of Him, are you?

Social Masks

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The Social Media Mask

We’ve spent the last month talking about the masks we wear.  October seemed like a good time to have that conversation as masks and costumes, dark things and scary things, carved pumpkins and ghostly images take over the world we see all around us.  As we finish up this month of masked conversations, I have to admit my heart weighs heavy.  I have avoided active references to Halloween simply because it can be so divisive in church world, as the weeks have passed we have come closer and closer to election day and the noise on both sides has become louder, I have avoided the issues of politics and beliefs.  And then again there is COVID, with its daily numbers and stats and the dividing lines drawn up on either side of this battleground. 

I am blessed that I have friends in every walk of life, I am blessed to have social connections from people from each end of every spectrum.  I am blessed that many of these people, when engaged in a direct, face to face conversation are able to hear and understand my heart, and help me challenge my thinking when I am too close-minded. 

However, I am also saddened that we live in a world where what we post publicly and indirectly is often unfiltered.   A world of social media, where we say things online, that even if we were to say them in person, would be said differently.  A world where those who don’t agree with us are labeled and called names and insulted.  A world where two people who love Jesus, worship together on Sunday, pray together for common causes, can tear each other down publicly.  Somehow, social media has provided a new mask, a mask of arrogance and pride and self-righteousness.

At the beginning of the COVID lockdowns, I refused to take a side on how serious or political this virus was.  The truth is, I don’t know.  But I challenged us as believers, to ask ourselves what people will see, and learn and believe about Jesus because of our words and actions.  So today, I ask a similar question….

What does the world think of your God when your heart, your tenderness, your humility is hidden by the masks of pride, arrogance, and self-righteousness.  Does a hurting and broken world see Jesus’ love in the public face you have created.  I’m not talking about lukewarm Christianity, I not talking about compromising truth, I’m certainly not talking about watering down our convictions, I am talking about asking honest questions, walking in humility, being willing to listen to another person’s story and experience the world from their view.  In the end, I’m talking about truly balancing truth and grace.

Today I want to challenge you to take a hard look at your public social media image.  When someone reads your facebook posts, or your Instagram stories, or your linked in profile, who will they see.  For years’ now, pastors have said (usually in a message on giving) “if you want to know where your heart is, look to where your money is.”  I’d like to similarly challenge you, if you want to know how you represent Jesus to the world around you, look to your profile pages.  What do you see?

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another.” – John 13:35

 

You Are More

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“You are more than the choices that you’ve made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create…”  those lyrics!!!  From the song “You are more,” by Tenth Avenue North, those lyrics have always found fertile ground in my heart.

I have made mistakes.  So many mistakes.  I have made mistakes as a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, and as a friend.  I have failed as a leader and failed as a Christian.  I have failed as a volunteer and as an employee.  I have failed myself.  But that is not the end of my story.

I recently read a blog post where the writer wrote that “I am not my past mistakes.”  While I understand the intentions of that post and that wording, I struggled with it.  Because deep down, I know that I am.  Every failure has defined me in some way.  Every hurt I have caused or have received has etched a memory on my heart.  Every one of those moments influences the decisions I make today.  So, I am the sum of my past mistakes, but the notable difference between the blog post and the song lyrics is the word “more.”

You see, I am the sum of my failures, but I am also more.  I have learned from those mistakes.  I have taken those failures and learned to do something different.  I learned how to do it better, act slower, think more, and pray more. I learned to support better, to walk in more humility, to serve better and to love better.  I learned to apologize better and own my mistakes sooner, and when everything felt broken and beyond repair, I learned to let Jesus’ truth be the loudest truth, not the voices of accusation around me.

In this series of posts about laying down the masks we wear, the most difficult to lay down are the masks that cover our failures, that conceal our broken places, our mistakes, and our doubts. The truth is we all fail, the trick is in failing forward.  Learning from our mistakes, changing the way we do it next time, humbling ourselves and asking for forgiveness, and learning how to forgive ourselves regardless of the others’ response.  When we hide our failure we also hide God’s glory; we hide the beauty of restoration, grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love.

This week, as you walk into the next hard conversation, the next hard decision, the next mess to clean up or plans to change, would you ask Jesus what masks you need to lay down?  Do you need to apologize to someone or own a mistake?  Do you need to admit you don’t know and humbly ask Jesus into the situation?  Do you need to set down fear of failure, and pride and self-image in order to allow the beauty of God’s restoration and peace to shine in your circumstance?

We teach and preach a message of a loving God.  A God who forgives and saves.  A God who restores and heals. This week, can you allow that reflection of God to be seen in your life? 

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

 – “You Are More,” Tenth Avenue North

Unmasked 2

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Removing the Mask

We are spending the month of October talking about the masks we wear.  As women in ministry there are many times that the mask feels more welcome than the reality.  Certainly, there are times that confidence, strength, and stability are needed from us, as well as time that silliness and cheerleading and encouragement are called for.  But as we talk about taking off the mask, looking at the real us, you know deep in your heart I’m not referring to a moment where strength is needed, I’m talking about a mask that hides the real issues, the real you; for minutes, hours, weeks, months, years.

I have spent much of my life in hiding.  As a child I hid uncertainty and not knowing, often falling or failing because I was afraid to ask for help.  As a teenager I hid intelligence and hurt, trying hard to fit in and not be too much.  As a young adult these things blended into this mask of having it all together, independence and strength.  In my thirties these masks had blended with what and who I thought my church wanted me to be and so the masks of humility and service and wisdom layered over the existing masks.  There comes a point when all the masks we are wearing weigh heavy on our lives, our relationships, even our souls.

I was in my thirties, a mother of 4, serving in my church, volunteering at the school, maintaining a house, working, and oh so very tired.  On the surface, I had everything I had said I wanted, marriage, family, friends, home, stability.  And yet very few people really knew me, how could they, I didn’t really know me.

And then a new journey began.  A journey to discover who I was under all the masks.  A journey to walk thru all the things I thought were true of me.  A journey to unravel the layers of protection and hiding I had surrounded myself with.  Grace extended to the little girl who was so afraid to be wrong and look stupid.  Tears shed for the lonely teenager, surrounded by people but always feeling on the outside.  Compassion for the young wife who made a lot of mistakes.  Mercy given for the young mother who placed far too much emphasis on how her children made her look and feel.  Peace offered for the school volunteer who’s drive and need to come through often pushed her to exhaustion.  Kindness extended to the church volunteer and eventually staff member who stepped on toes or said the wrong thing. 

 

 

 

It didn’t happen overnight.  It included a few studies, and a season of sitting in a counselor’s office.  A season of identifying, at times painfully, who my real friends are, and walking into dark places.  A season of looking back on the lies of the enemy and inviting Jesus to show me His truth in those places.  And while dark places, those corners of your memory and your heart you wish you could pretend never existed, are not generally fun places to return to, something amazing happens as you begin to shine line into those corners.  Suddenly the corners are less dark, the shadows less scary.  Ironically enough, darkness only exists in darkness, the moment you shine light on it, it begins to lose it’s hold.  With each layer of masks that Jesus asked me to remove, I found beauty, beauty where I had always only thought to cover up brokenness. 

 

 

 

There is beauty in brokenness, strength in vulnerability, wisdom in knowing you don’t know everything, freedom in owning mistakes, joy in silliness, hope in failing, and rest in stopping. As you move into this next week, are there masks He is asking you to lay down?  He is gentle, He won’t tear them from you and He won’t ask to you to just pull them all off at once, but piece by piece, as you lay them at His feet, He will walk with you to heal the broken places you have covered up, to trade beauty for ashes, and to shine light in the darkness.