The Loudest Voice

Posted on January 21, 2020April 10, 2025 by FZadmin

“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountains and valleys that got you here. They are not accidents, and those moments weren’t in vain. You are not the same. You have grown and you are growing. You are breathing, you are living, you are wrapped in endless, boundless grace. And things will get better. There is more to you than yesterday.”

— Morgan Harper Nichols

A New Year

Three Weeks… 21 days… Where has it gone? Just a short time ago, we relished in the last days of December, hopefully working a little less, spending time with family, enjoying the peacefulness of the last days of the year. Reflecting on the year past and the one about to begin. And on some level we made commitments, maybe in the form of traditional New Years Resolutions, maybe just quietly in our thoughts… some things need to change, some things can be better.

I made those commitments. And yet, here we are, three weeks into a new year, and at least for me, the old routine was louder than the new changes. The numbers on the scale haven’t changed much, I have yet to make it to the gym, my weekly activity report on my phone condemns me, January is already over budget, and I’m not sure my family would attest to any substantial change in my patience or intentionality.

Conflicting Voices

And in the silence, as the voice of accusation comes, I find myself quick to agree. I’m a failure. I can’t change. I will never be the friend/mom/wife I’m supposed to be. I will always be overweight, out of shape, broke, and distracted. I can spiral in the failure, I can allow the accusations to be the loudest voice I hear, but then I take a moment to sit still, to engage in a conversation with my God and he reminds me…

He reminds me that He thinks I am fantastic. He reminds me that He delights in me. That every failure is not wasted, as long as I fail forward. That He looks at me and sees all the things He created me to be and do and that He cheers loudly when I succeed, and cheers me on even louder when I fail, because He knows I will learn and do it differently next time. And I underestimate that all the time. I forget how absolutely incredibly much Jesus loves me. I forget that He sees in me sunshine and delight, joy and hope, love and grace, beauty and strength, playfulness and intelligence, and so much more.

Making a Choice

So today, I chose to send the voice of accusation back where it belongs. That is not my voice, that is not my Fathers’ voice, that is the voice of the one who fears me and what I could become if I stopped listening to him. Today I choose to allow God’s voice to be the loudest voice, to allow His Truth to be the only truth that matters, to refuse to be defined by my failure, but rather to get back up and do it again. So, I’m adjusting those resolutions and commitments. I still want to accomplish them, they are good things, but I’m adding a new one, a better one, to the very top of the list; This year I choose to live in the space where God’s voice is the loudest voice and His truth is the loudest truth. I know I need more of that. I know I need more of Him. And I pray this for you too, may you be reminded daily of His delight in you and may His voice be the loudest voice in your life too.

Seeking Direction

Posted on April 12, 2019April 10, 2025 by FZadmin

And then we prayed

And then we prayed. A group of 9 ladies, ranging in age from 21-80, ranging in experience from weekly volunteer, ministry lead, church staff, and pastor’s wife, ranging in their season from contentment to needing a change, ranging vastly in their church history, church experience, wounding and healing. We gathered together and asked God to speak… words of wisdom for moving forward, name inspiration, mission/vision clarification, financial provision and above all for a clear yes or no on pursuing the foundation of a new ministry.

The words that God spoke in that prayer meeting were so affirming… over and over as each woman shared the scriptures and pictures she received we heard a clear message… Go. We got some direction to feel and name and heart and character. Who we wanted to be and who we didn’t want to be. The most memorable moment, as we were gathered sipping on some wine, snacking on some food and discussing what God had spoken, was when one of our young ladies shared the scripture she felt God had spoken… Eccl. 9:7 “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.” A heartfelt joy pierced us… we were on track.

Finances began to be discussed, finding financial supporters so that services and support can be made available at minimal cost or even free. And God showed up, first in the committed giving of the initial circle and then in larger commitments as the vision and mission was shared with others around us. We are still building this, but in April 2019, God had confirmed and made a way for a new ministry to be born.

We had one more milestone to reach… finding a name.

Taking Shape…

Posted on April 12, 2019April 10, 2025 by FZadmin

The Dream

In November of 2018, one of our ladies had a dream. We were organizing a retreat, but it wasn’t the usual women’s retreat or youth retreat, or even staff retreat we had all been part of in the past… This was different. We were focused and solemn and determined. They need this, they need hope, they need life, they need to remember that Jesus has something special for them. It was a retreat specifically designed for women who actively serve in ministry. Staff women, volunteer leads, pastor’s wives, missionaries. Women who spend their lives serving others, were coming to a place where nothing was expected of them. Where their own encounter with Jesus, time set apart was offered.

The dream stayed with us. Throughout the day, the week, even the month. It took shape, solidified in form, and began to whisper of visions and missions and names. We started talking about it over lunch and coffee, in group chats and one on one messages. We began to call it Speak Life… that was our goal to speak life over women who spend all day offering life to others and often forget to stop and find their own.

The Origin Story…

Posted on April 12, 2019April 10, 2025 by FZadmin

Awakening…

In the fall of 2018 a group of women committed to the ministry of the church came together to discuss the challenges we each face. Some were paid staff, some were volunteer staff, some worked full-time in the world and volunteered for their local church. We all faced challenges.

The biggest challenge for all of us, we recognized, was the attack on our identity and our value. Church Staff felt isolated in the Christian bubble, overwhelmed by the needs of the people they serve, and unable to fully share their frustrations at the risk of discouraging others. Non-church staff felt less than, unheard, and unconsidered in the daily church administration, which affected their ministry, but they were unable to be present in the daily.

What all of us were feeling was undervalued, overworked, and tired. All of us had hearts that were fully in line with the vision and mission of our respective ministries, but the constraints of time, lack of focus on self-care, and fear kept us silent and lonely.

Forming the Circle…

During this season, a core group of women committed to caring for each other, offering a safe space, and being more intentional in the pursuit of walking with each other. Whether that meant encouraging, challenging, grieving along side, or celebrating, the key was regular intentional check-ins. As usual when people come together beautiful things began to happen, and hard things began to happen. Over the course of the following months a number of the women experienced an end to the ministries that had driven the need for the original conversation. Some roles changed, some resigned ministry positions, some stepped out of volunteer positions, some stepped more into ministry. In each of those transitions, there was so much room for the enemy to continue to speak the lies over each of us, but the beautiful intentional encouragement and support we had committed to, proved a lifeline in a season of transition.