In Need of Rest
I love to travel. Warm watery destinations are a favorite relaxation trip for me. The self-reflection time, the soothing of the water, the calming warmth or the adventurous waves each speak to me in different ways. I grew up in water… pools, lakes, oceans, they call to something deep inside me, the voice of the younger me that hasn’t always been allowed a voice.
Two years ago, God gave me a gift. He opened the door for a 6-day trip to the beach with a couple of my friends. I was in need of rest. It had been a season of recovering from the trauma of my husband’s heart attack, a season of organizational change in the ministry I was working in, and a season of God taking me down memory lane, reminding me of who I was in my younger years. I wanted to go alone, run away to the seashore, but my husband asked me to take a friend. I picked two of my most introverted friends. I was hungry for rest, and I wanted people who would not require much of me. One of my friends called it, when she said, you just invited us so you don’t have to eat out alone. False… I love their company, they were a great choice… and True… as an extravert wanting to be alone every now and then is fine, but eating out alone is hard. And so, the three of us embarked on our adventure..
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God Speaks
It was a peaceful adventure. Room, beach, pool, food, repeat. No major plans, no shopping or sightseeing, just soul care. I brought a journal, a bible, and a book. I spent time frolicking in the waves of the Atlantic coast of Florida, daydreamed in the calm of the pool, and journaled on a beautiful driftwood bench looking out over the beach. I took my heartache and my exhaustion to God, I also took him some tough questions, and he met me there.
We had some honest conversation about who I am, who I was designed to be, who I was. The parts of me that are growing and thriving and the parts of me that have been locked up. He reaffirmed all the stories he’d been reminding me of that year, that underneath the young and silly was the heart of the woman I am today, and part of her was being locked away. He called me a Dolphin, showed me the image clearly. He spoke truths over my soul. Smart. Kind. Loyal. Playful. Fierce. Protective. Fun. Free. Beautiful. I vowed to take it home with me, to remember to be silly and fun and playful when the world felt heavy. To be light in darkness. To not allow the enemy’s accusations to speak louder than God’s truth.
Under Attack
I failed. Yes, you read that right. I failed. I returned to a storm. The enemy had not been on vacation while I was away, and the winds of change had blown in again. Over the course of the next two years I would find myself desperately clinging to the truth God spoke on the beach that day, and other days I would shove my younger self back in the corner and tell her to take her silliness and fun and playful with her. It was a battle that ultimately lead me to Finding Zarephath, and for that I will always be grateful, but every battle comes with a price and scars.
God Speaks Still…
This year, God opened the door again, and took me back to Florida. This time to the Gulf side with my family. The rhythm was much the same, room, beach, pool, food, games. And there God met me again, in a boat with my family… with a simple reminder… playful dolphin.
His truth always prevails. His promises are always fulfilled.