Examining our Heart

“The day after Christmas is usually a bit of a let-down. The guests have gone home, no one has started back to the office, the trees are bare and there’s a quiet that settles in. Before the next distraction begins, there’s an opportunity. In the space that’s in between marked by one end and the next beginning, there’s a chance to take a deep breath and to ask yourself some questions.
There’s an old practice in the church adapted from St. Ignatius called an Examen. Like a good folk song, there are lots of versions circulating out there about just how to go about an Examen. In brief, the idea is that you would spend a few minutes at the end of the day to become aware of God’s presence.  Reflect on the day, you can remember on the times you felt close to God, or times you felt especially distant. In a few lines, express your need for grace, and offer up a word of gratitude.”  -Sandra McCracken, Christmas (Devotional on YouVersion)

I’ve mentioned before that I do a daily devotional with some friends.  This is an excerpt from our last one.  If you read our Thanksgiving posts, you may remember that I’ve been sharing a daily post with a friend of three things I am grateful for.  Thanksgiving ended, but our posts have kept going, we’re just finishing up month two.  As I read this post this week, I was intrigued and decided to do a bit more research.  While there are many resources, I found this very simple list.  It’s meant to be a daily activity, and I think I would like to try to do that myself, pair it up with my gratefulness list.  I like to start with simple goals, so my goal right now, is to put this into practice these last few days of 2020 and in the early weeks of 2021.  

Facebook likes to remind me of old posts, and over the last few days many memories of  New Year 2020 have been showing up.  I think it’s safe to say 2020 was not at all what we expected, any of us.  But as I look back on 2020, as I reflect in the silence; yes there was loss, yes there were and are hard decisions and choices, yes, the world as we knew it changed, but I still have so much to be grateful for.  In 2020 I looked to see what God would bring in the New Year, this year I reflect and am grateful for all that I have.

As we usher in a new year, put an end to the old one, as we look to find hope and joy in the new, as we leave behind the challenges of the last, will you join me in exploring a daily Examen?  Whether you commit to a one-day year-end exercise or try it out for a week, a month, or even a year, I believe Jesus has something for me and He has something for you too.

5 Step Daily Examen

Merry Christmas

Christmas is only a few days away, and although this year is different in so many ways, there are also so many things that are the same.  The last minute errands, gift wrapping, decorating, meal planning are all still happening, churches everywhere are busy wrapping up their Christmas service planning, rehearsals or recordings, and families are traveling or staying home to spend Christmas with their loved ones.

No matter how this year has changed or challenged us, the constant that is true for all of us, is that in just a few days we are going to be celebrating Jesus’ Birthday and the beautiful story that began that night.

In our family this season is full of Birthdays and Holidays.  Beginning mid-November and culminating in mid January, our family of six celebrates Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and five birthdays.  Gift giving plays a significant role in this season, in our planning, and certainly in our pocket books.  This year, I’ve been reflecting more than usual about the gift that Jesus gave us and how we celebrate his Birthday.  

I’ve reached the stage in life, where I don’t really want more stuff.  Everyone wants me to give them a Christmas list, and I don’t have one.  I want to do things, go places, make memories.  Of course this isn’t the ideal year for that, but I’m willing to modify.  I’m enjoying game nights with my family more that opening a present.  Sitting at the dinner table together, more than a new knick-knack or cooking gadget.  And somewhere in my mental wonderings, the little drummer boy has come to mind.

Growing up, this wasn’t one of my favorite Christmas songs.  Not sure why, but I just didn’t love it, and then… a few years ago, we did this song in Christmas Eve services at my church, and in the amazing display of lights and sound, I watched 4 drummers drum their hearts out during this song.  Individually, in drum solo’s and then together, and my heart beat with them.

For the first time the words of the song and the meaning connected with my heart.  That’s ultimately what it’s really all about.  God’s gift to us was so incredible that there is nothing I could offer that would be fit for a King, but I’ll bring everything  I am, every talent I have, and lay it at His feet.  I want to pour myself out for Him, the way these drummers poured everything they had into beating those drums. 

So, that is my prayer this week, and I challenge you to join me in it.  God, show me how to offer everything I have and everything I am to you.  Show me where to pour it all out to honor you.  And in the season of gift giving, Jesus, help me to remember, that you have already given us the only gift that every really mattered.

Christmas is Coming

With Christmas only two weeks away in a year of challenges and new normals, I just wanted to take a moment to silence the noise, and refocus on the celebration of this season.  We found this poem last year, and used it in our Christmas cards.  Last year my heart was focused on not losing sight of Jesus in the busyness of the season, this year that focus is a little different.  This year my focus is on the hope that Jesus offers.  It is because of who He is and who He says we are, that we can find hope in the midst of a hopeless world.

Our God is not quarantined.  Our God is not limited by social restrictions. Our God is not in fear of a virus, or disillusioned by politics, or uncertain of the future.  This Christmas, it is my prayer that we can find God in all the changes, all the loss, all the uncertainty.  When we find Him, we will also find all the things He came to bring.  We will find hope.  We will find joy.  We will find love. We will find peace.

The same God who spoke the world into existence, who healed the sick and raised the dead, who parted the sea and dried up the flood is still on the throne.  The same God who spared his son to come to earth, to live among us, to give His life so we could live, is still working in our lives and story.  This Christmas I want to remember and celebrate this amazing gift, this amazing love, and not allow the circumstances of the year to steal one ounce of its beauty, wonder and glory. 

If you look for me at Christmas,
You won’t need a special star.
I’m no longer just in Bethlehem,
I’m right there where you are.
You may not be aware of Me,
Amid the celebrations.
You’ll have to look beyond the stores,
And all the decorations.
But if you take a moment,
From your list of things to do,
And listen to your heart, you’ll find
I’m waiting there for you.
You’re the one I want to be with,
You’re the reason that I came.
And you’ll find Me in the stillness,
As I’m whispering your name.

If ever a song spoke to and of my soul, it would be this line, this year.  It has definitely been one of those years.  Even more it has been one of those years for everyone, everywhere, worldwide.  I can’t think of another time in my lifetime that the entire world felt the isolation, loneliness, exhaustion, of this year.  I know there have been others; world wars, plagues, disease, but in my lifetime this is a first.  A full year of battle.  Battling disease, battling income loss, battling isolation, battling technology.  We are indeed a weary world.  But as women in ministry, as believers, that is not where our story ends.  There is a thrill of hope, our God is still on the thrown, our God is still working, our God is still moving.

As we move in this season between Thanksgiving and Christmas, headed daily towards the celebration of Christ’s birth, I pray that we are filled with the thrill of hope.  May we find the beauty in the unexpected, the miracle in the every day, the wins in a season of losses. May we find freedom in the inability to plan, appreciation of the simple things, and quality connection in our smaller circles. 

I pray my heart, and yours, grows daily in its ability to rejoice, to see the new and glorious that God is giving us, to worship and sing and pray and celebrate with a hope for all that has been, all that is now, and all that is yet to be.

“He knows our need, To our weakness no stranger! Behold your King.”