Month: September 2020

Lead Me

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In The Presence Of My Savior

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders…..  You may recognize those words from the popular song “Oceans,” by Hillsong United.  The first time I heard that song, it called deeply to something in me.  The need for adventure, the desire to follow God anywhere, the passionate call to something more… and I wasn’t the only one.

Turns out that song spoke strongly to my daughter too.  She was in her first year of college, a place I wanted her to be, in a season where she wanted to be somewhere else.  She had completed several mission trips over the previous year and a half and she was hungry for more.  To love people, to change the world, to follow Jesus unconditionally.  The problem was, both her father and I desperately wanted her to finish school first, and if I’m honest, we were advising from our own “knowing what is best” instead of asking God what she should be doing.

Before too long, we were at a crossroads, she wasn’t doing well in school, simply because she didn’t want to be there, and she had applied and been accepted for a position with a missions organization in San Francisco.  Her heart was full, and she was excited.  I had concerns, I had fear, but I was also incredibly proud of her beautiful heart for people and her courage.

 

It wasn’t long before we were packing her up and sending her off.  As I helped her pack, bought airline tickets to fly us out, connected with old friends and set up meetings so she could have a safety net, should something go wrong 1500 miles from home,  she told me God had been speaking to her through this song.  I’m not sure I remember the early details, but throughout her application & interview process, this song had played notably several times.  The point at which she told me the story, we had just completed a sending off prayer & worship time with some close friends and mentors,  and that song had been in the set.  Just a week later, the song played again in the shuttle bus to the airport, again in the fast food restaurant we ate lunch in, and again in the rental car as we drove away from the airport into her new adventure.

We spent several days in California together and heard the song so many times in unexpected places. The last time we heard it together, was when we visited the church closest to her new work location to see if it could be a good fit for her, and it was part of the worship set.  God had chosen this song for her, to remind her that she was on track, to encourage her when she doubted, to combat fear of the unknown.  He gave it to me too.  To remind me parenting adult children is a act of faith and trust I never expected, that His plans are better than my plans, that she was His first and He’s got her.  When I left her at her new home, and flew back to mine, with tears streaming down my face, the lyrics were my prayer. 

Both for her and for myself.

 

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”                               
                                                  -Hillsong United

 

 

Over the course of the next several months, God would use this song to remind her and to remind me that He was ever present.  When she felt lonely and out of place, when she questioned her choice to go, we remembered His promises.  When she called and told me about the shooting that occurred just down the street, I clung to His promises.

Even just last week, years after that initial journey, she called to tell me that God used the song to speak over her current situation.  Over the last 2 years, as God has led me out of a ministry that I loved, and into this ministry that I love, I have cried and celebrated and prayed with this song more times that I can count.

As we wrap up a month of talking about the different ways God speaks to us, can I challenge you not to keep Him  in a box.  There is no one way God speaks.  Sometimes it is loud and clear, sometimes it is a hint of something that we have to pursue to understand, sometimes it is through the voice of others, or the nature around us, and sometimes it is simply a knowing, an understanding.  Scripture, songs, teaching, the touch of a stranger, visions, dreams, a feeling of warmth…  God speaks.

And today, as you lean into Him, it is my sincere prayer that he lead to where your trust is without borders and you walk upon the waters, that you go deeper than you ever dreamed, that your faith would be made stronger and you would know the presence of your Savior.

 

Tuning In

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4am Wake Up Calls

This month we’ve been talking about hearing God.  What a messy area this can be.  God speaks regularly, I know He does, but I don’t hear Him as often as I’d like to.  Why is that?  Why is it after a lifetime of learning what walking with Jesus looks like, I still struggle to block out the noise and ask Him to speak, and worse, I don’t wait for Him to do it?  I know better, and yet from years in ministry I know I’m not alone.  We live in a world of instant gratification, immediate answers, and lots of voices.  A quick text message to a friend will solicit an opinion, and a quick google search will provide knowledge, a world of distractions will silence the quiet voice that whispers, “I have more for you.”

But our God is a pursuer of hearts, and He stands ready for conversation, real conversation.  Not just the prayer to-do list or the thank you message, although those certainly are important to Him too.  He wants to talk about our dreams and hopes and our fears.  He wants to speak truth over the lies of a broken world.  He wants to talk of purpose and joy and growth.  He wants to hear about us and wants us to learn about Him.

The last few months He has been talking to me about the future plans for our ministry.  COVID put a significant pause on our plans for 2020, and we found ourselves lacking excitement and purpose trying to plan things and events that may not be able to happen, certainly this year, possible well into next year.  And so often when I heard His voice and direction, my heart initially filled with excitement and my mind began to plan, but a few hours of swirling in the details and facing the 2020 obstacles, quickly had me putting my thoughts on a shelf for later, we’ll deal with it after… after the shutdown, after the group limitations are lifted, after the mask mandates are eased, turns out there is a long list of  “afters.”

Over the last few weeks, God has woken me up several times at 4am.  Not a restless sleep, or a anxious awakening, I find those tend to be from another source, but rather a full on wide awake at 4am thinking and planning.  The thoughts and ideas flood in so quickly, it only takes seconds to know I need to get up and start writing this stuff down.  And then those words lead to more conversation, more direction, more purpose.  I wish it didn’t have to be this way.  I wish I could sleep well past 4am, and sometime, later in the day, sit down with Jesus and have this conversation, but as my dear friend phrased it the other day, sometimes I have a doctorate in avoidance and busyness that keeps me from hearing Jesus.  I don’t like that that’s true, but I know that it is.  And so I will excitedly accept 4am wake up calls, even as I try to do it better moving forward.  

He speaks.  He speaks daily.  He speaks directly to us.   I know I need to pay better attention.  I know I need to stop and see the different ways He engages me.  How are you doing in this area?  Are you turning down the noise, tuning out the distractions.  Do you see your Father sitting with you wanting to talk about all your hopes and dreams and worries and fears?  Are you looking for Him in the sunset or the song lyrics?  Are you willing to answer Him at 4am when He calls?

 

“Word Of God Speak,” Mercy Me

I’m finding myself at a loss for words, and the funny thing is it’s okay
The last thing I need is to be heard, but to hear what You would say

Word of God speak. Would You pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see, your majesty
To be still and know, that You’re in this place
Please let me stay and rest, in Your holiness
Word of God speak

I’m finding myself in the midst of You, beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You, and in the quiet hear Your voice

I’m finding myself at a loss for words, and the funny thing is it’s okay

 

 

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Hearing God

 

Seeking Truth

We’ve been talking about hearing from God, but sometimes that can feel so hard.  There is so much noise.  The noise of busyness, the noise of other people’s needs, the noise of our own brokenness and needs.

Often the hardest things to hear, are the things we desperately want to hear.  It’s a catch 22, I want to hear God tell me something, but because I so desperately want to hear it, I discredit it as my own voice when He speaks.

So today, I just want to take a moment and remind each of us of some fundamental truths.  I’ve chosen to write them as I statements.  Will you read them, ponder them and let God seal the truth of them into your mind, into your heart.?

truth

 

I am a reflection of God.

I am a masterpiece.

I am the light of the world. 

I light up the sky like a firework.

I am a child of light and a child of the day.

I am enough

I am so enough.

I am a God’s friend. 

I am created for good.

I am abundantly equipped.

I am known. 

I am known deeply.

I am known and I am loved.

I am chosen.

I am intentionally chosen.

 I am a victor. 

I am an overcomer.

I am divinely appointed.

I have a calling

I have a purpose.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am Wonderful.

I am His.

I am the beloved.

I am deeply loved.

I am divinely cherished.

I have great value.

I am a child of God.

I am chosen to be a child of God.

I am delighted in.

I am Royalty. 

I am Chosen.

I am Special.

I have a birthright.

I have an inheritance.

I have a glory.

I have been rescued.

I have been ransomed.

I have been restored.

 

 

Standing on the truth

Did you feel it.  Did you feel the power of those words and the love of your Father as you read them? Did you also feel the dismissal, the rejection, the “yes, yes but…?” 

The enemy is quick to move when when we walk into God’s truth.  When we move closer to owning our Identity, the voices of diminishment and disqualification quickly rise above the others. Accusation and discouragement join in as they cause us to hesitate to claim these truths.

But accusation is not from God.  Correction can be, but correction does not diminish Truth.

I am who I am because of whose I am. These statements are true, not because I’ve earned them, but simply because God says so. I am the daughter of the King. That identity is secured because of who He is, not what I do.

 

 

Hearing Him

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The Unexpected

I had been saying for years that God didn’t talk to me thru nature.  While I appreciated the beauty of mountains and seas, enjoyed the occasional animal encounters and sometimes noticed flowers and such, these weren’t the ways God usually stirred my heart.  Until one morning, a few years ago, after telling a group of ladies the night before, that God doesn’t speak to me thru nature – God with his sense of humor, sent me a hummingbird.  I don’t just mean I saw a hummingbird – I mean on a gray dreary  Wednesday morning, as I sat on the bench on my covered porch, a silly little hummingbird decided to fly straight into the porch, stop directly in front of me, and just hover, maybe a foot in front of me.  I could have reached out and touched it.  And then it lingered.  No flitting in and flitting out, but rather a full stop directly in front of me, probably for more than a minute.

I had just been railing against God.  Really I was trying to pray, but it wasn’t coming out that way.  I was mad that life wasn’t turning out the way we planned.  After losing my husband’s mother very unexpectedly the previous year, to spending months trying to sell a former rental after repairing it twice, to buying two  new cars within 2 months of each other because 2 older vehicles died, watching my daughter choose to walk away from college, having my son total one of the new cars, and coming up on 3 months of unemployment for my husband, after 19 years of committed service,  and none of that anywhere near resolution – my father-in-law was going in for a relatively simple heart procedure – but everything in me screamed God can I trust you?  And He answered with a HUMMINGBIRD.

Message Received

My immediate reaction – I laughed.  My heart bubbled up and I felt joy and then peace.  First, I laughed because clearly God has a sense of humor, sending me a bird 12 hours after announcing, not for the first time, that God doesn’t speak to me through nature.  Peace, because somewhere in my heart, I understood, Dad was going to be OK.  Mom’s favorite bird was a hummingbird, she painted them, she planted flowers for them, she hung feeders for them, and that was absolutely the right sign that day.  Because I’m curious, I did some research.  Hummingbirds are first and foremost a symbol of joy.   God was ushering in my joy – and then I went on to read that hummingbirds are different than any other bird – they can fly into the wind, or with the wind, they can go left/right/up/down/full speed/ full stop and of course they can hover in place.  And I felt the voice of God telling me to just keep up.  He wasn’t done.  I didn’t need to know where we were going, I just need to keep up.  Move in whichever direction he moves or just stand still.  He’s got this and He’s got me. 

Are you listening?

It’s been 4 years since that Wednesday morning on the porch, and I’m still just trying to keep up.  What I know now, is that all the challenges of that season, were just the precursors to the next season, and then the next season.  The truth is each year has held challenges and celebrations.  Each year has held disappointment and hope.  Each year has held unknown next steps. 

How is God speaking to you in this season?  Where are you missing Him because you aren’t expecting Him there?  He can be found in the beach and the mountains, in the hummingbird and the moose, but also in the isolation of quarantine, in the loneliness of social distancing, in the messy kitchen or the dusty living room.  He is waiting to talk with you, are you listening?